Funnies

Funny Texts

I’ve accumulated quite a few funnies since I acquired an email account
in ninth grade. Some of it has been sitting around gathering dust and
cobwebs, so I decided to put them up here. I must have received ten times
this amount, but these are the funniest around. I’ve also tried to keep
them as unoffensive and as rated-PG as possible. And if they’re a bit too
cheesy, …well, I warned you.

If any of the documents don’t work, please email me and tell me about
it.

• ASCII Cows galore!
• Barry’s version of the SAT test.
• Borg vs. Win95 script poking fun at Bill Gates.
• Blonde Jokes
• Bumper Stickers.
• Car Help Hotline
• Catholic Pope vs. Jewish guy named Moishe debate.
• Classified Section bloopers.
• Clues for Idiots
• Computers=female?
• Dan Quayle Quotes.
• Diary of an AOL Troublemaker
• Differences between Democrats and Republicans.
• Dog tricks.
• Dumb momma Jokes
• Emoticon list.
• English revisionism, in an attempt to simplify a complicated language.
• Essay bloopers of middle school-aged students.
• Excuses to get out of class.
• FedEx and UPS funny.
• Foreign Slogans and how they’re translated from/to English.
• French Language poked fun at.
• High School vs. College
• How to measure the height of a building with a barometer.
• How to Order a Pizza.
• Ironic signs seen across the United States.
• Lawyer Jokes.
• Lessons On History
• Marriage, and what young children think about it.
• Math – A great forward I got from Cora on mathematics of romance.
• Miscellaneous funny quotes
• Miscellaneous funny stories.
• Modern Philosophies
• Moser’s Essay
• Neil Armstrong’s true Gorsky story
• New Elements for the periodic table.
• Potpourri of Quotes
• Railroad gauges in the US, and how they got their length.
• Romantic gift of gloves.
• Questions of Life
• Santa Claus, does he really exist?
• Science Project on chemicals
• Spelling Mississippi.
• Sayings – Some funny sayings, a forward I got from Tron Wang.
• Soda vs. Pop Debate
• Star Trek script parody.
• Titles of Books.
• The Men’s Room
• Troublemaker’s vocabulary assignment.
• Unix commands.
• Van Gogh’s Family
• What can you do when you’re not prepared for your finals?
• What to do at WalMart when you’re bored.
• You might be a college student if…
• You Might be an Asian if…
• How the Bible would be written by college students.
• Why did the chicken cross the road?
• These are REAL classes being offered at American universities!
• What College View books don’t tell you.
• Definitions for the computer-illiterate.
• 50 ways to scare people in a computer room.
• Some morbid thing about dying and corpses.
• Funny “Dear Abby” letters.
• How do you use an etch-a-sketch?
• Girl friend tech support.
• Well, this is not really that funny, but Williams *did* have a lice epidemic once. poor class of 2001 victims, when they were freshmen…
• Kuwait and landmines.
• Microsoft dinner help manual.
• Some common oxymorons.
• A potpourri of funny jokes and stories.
• Rejected state mottos.
• Ten Commandments as written by college students.
• The essence of Texan politics.
• Errors with translating and advertising.
• A conglomeration of funnies. This file needs to be split up.